


Doubts

by Gcgraywriter



Series: Paneville [31]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Absent Parents, Daddy Neville, F/M, Grandparents & Grandchildren, Janus Thickey Ward (Harry Potter), Labour, Mommy Pansy, Pregnant Pansy, St Mungo's Hospital, sweet wrappers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:09:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gcgraywriter/pseuds/Gcgraywriter
Summary: Prompt 18 - Bath
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Pansy Parkinson
Series: Paneville [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1721938
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8
Collections: Paneville





	Doubts

Thoughts flowed in and out of his mind like the tide in a rockpool. Ideas and worries gathering, only the flow away again until others flooded in. He stared at the tiled wall, looking straight through it as his mind wandered, looking for treasure. 

“Darling, for such a quiet man, you really do think very loudly,” Pansy murmured as she moved, sending the water around them, trickling across their skin. He smiled as her very rounded stomach rose out of the water. Neville watched with pride, desperate to meet the child inside. He lifted his arm out of the water to smooth his hand over the tight, soft flesh. 

“Sorry love,” He replied with a smile before his face fell again as he stared at her stomach.   
Since finding out they were pregnant, he felt like he had mixed feelings about the experience. With his own experience with his parents and gran, he wasn’t sure he would know how to care for a child, or even how to act. 

“You know, the last time we were in the bath together, you were a bit more fun, certainly more chatty,” She smirked before rubbing her fingers through the hair on his chest. “Knut for your thoughts,” She urged. He took her hand and kissed it before frowning again. 

“I don’t know what to do,” He said finally after another long pause. 

“When? When the baby comes?” She asked, looking up at him. He couldn’t meet her gaze, lest she decide that what she needed was someone that knew how to look after children. Nodding he kept his eyes trained on the bump watching it tremble as their child got more comfortable. 

“What if I do everything wrong? What if I’m not there for them, like my…” He couldn’t even say it as his throat closed at the thought. 

“Neville, my love. No one enters into parenthood, knowing what to do. Babies don’t come with an instruction book. We’ll both make mistakes. And you’ll be around, no one would dare do anything to you! I have a reputation to uphold, and people know I’m not to be messed with,” She joked, but he didn’t laugh. “That was supposed to make you laugh,” she said with a pout. 

“Sorry, I just keep thinking about my parents recently,” He admitted. 

“Oh? What have you been thinking?” She murmured

“I’ve been wondering how to explain to our children where my parents are and why.”

“We’ll tell them the truth bit by bit as they get older and ask questions.”

He smiled and nodded. He wasn’t convinced, but without being able to argue, he remained quiet. 

“Oooh,” She winced, sitting up, gripping her stomach. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, sitting up with her. 

“I think…” She grimaced again, her black hair clinging to her flesh. “Baby’s coming!”

Neville nodded, feeling the nerves kick in as he helped her out of the bath. 

~~~

Pansy lay sleeping in the hospital bed, her cheeks pale and her hair mussed. The birth had taken it out of her, but Logan Frank Longbottom had been born a healthy seven pounds and four ounces. He was perfect. His fine, blond hair clung to his head as he slept, his face still creased. Neville didn’t think he had ever felt so in love, he glanced up from the bundle in his arms to his sleeping wife and felt the awe wash over him. 

He loved his family, but something was missing, something that could make it all better. He spotted the mediwitch and told her his plan. She smiled nodded and let him go. With Logan sleeping soundly in his arms he moved through the corridors, leaving the ward behind. Carefully, he climbed the stairs leading to the familiar fourth floor. He pulled out his wand and tapped the locked door allowing him entry into the ward before shutting and locking it behind him. The ward was calm as most of the occupants ate their breakfasts. 

“Well! Hello there! Are you here for an autograph? Oh, a baby! Starting them young, I like that!” Gilderoy said as he started to get up from his chair. 

“Yes sir, I’ll be back in a moment. Could you make it out to Logan Frank Longbottom?” 

“Very good, dear boy.” The blond wizard beamed as he lowered himself into his armchair. Neville nodded and kept walking, aiming for the two beds in the far right corner. His feet knew the way even as he looked down into the face of his newborn son. He stood at the bottom of the beds and looked at his parents. His mother sat on her bed, staring as her fingers oblivious to their presence and his father was stood staring at the curtains. A vaguely familiar mediwitch waved to him as he smiled back. 

He smiled upon seeing their faces. He moved closer to his mother and lowered himself onto the bed next to her. 

“Hi, Mum.” He murmured, “I have someone I want you to meet,” His mother turned to him, staring at him blankly. He often wondered whether there was anything left of her inside, anything that recognised him or understood what was happening in the world around them. Her expression didn’t change when her attention turned to the baby. “This is Logan Frank, Mum. This is your grandson.” He whispered so only she could hear him. “He was born this morning at eight minutes past nine,   
He was seven pounds and four ounces. Pansy is tired, but she’s fine. She did beautifully, you should have seen her. She was so strong.” Neville rambled proudly as he thought of his wife bringing this precious bundle into the world. “Isn’t he beautiful, Mum?”

His mum held out her hand to him. He looked up from the sleeping baby and held his hand out. She pushed two sweet wrappers into his waiting hand before standing to look off into the distance. He stared at the wrappers and smiled. He had to believe that they were still in there and that this was her way of telling him she loved him. He hoped the second one was her way of saying she loved Logan too. He smiled down at his pale son.   
“Say hello to your Nanny and Grandad, my son.”

~~~

Pansy woke up and immediately looked around for her son. She was relieved to find him in the small trolly bed. She couldn’t help but look at him, even this tiny and creased he looked like his daddy. She turned to find him sleeping on the chair next to her bed. She frowned in confusion for a moment as a picture moved to grin at her. 

Why was there a picture of their old defence against the dark arts teacher giving her the thumbs up? She noticed the autograph, before the two sweet wrappers on top of the picture made sense. She smiled at her sleeping husband as she carefully folded the wrappers and the autograph into the overnight bag by the side of the bed. She would have those wrappers framed and put pride of place in the nursery as soon as they got home if nothing else, but as a reminder to Neville that his family would always be with him and that he was loved.


End file.
